Just checking in....

Well, its Ash Wednesday and ALL my life, I do not believe I have ever attended Church on Ash Wednesday, thinking, ALL my life that Lutherans DO NOT receive ashes, only Catholics do....guess what.....LUTHERANS DO TOO!!!! hahahaa....I got ashes for the first time EVER!!!!! That's CRAZY!! Since my 40th Birthday I have learned so much!!!
I have learned also, that those you think will be there through thick and thin, RUN!!! But that's OK, its a lesson I wish I had learned at a much younger age!! Not everyone is meant to stick around...and its best when they leave because it could get really ugly!! hehe!!
I have also learned that I am coming back!! I mean, I am almost done with my "maintenance chemo" and I feel really good!! Thank you God!! I have more energy, most the time and I do, I feel good!! I look forward to having no more chemo sessions....Maintenance!! Again, it will be bitter sweet. I have come to really like all the nurses at the infusion center and it will be hard to say good bye, but I will skip my big fat A$$ out of there with a smile on my face, a song in my heart and a thankfulness for so MANY reasons!!! I feel so blessed that I have gone through this and come out with the results that I have...I worry..I won't lie, I have seen and heard many horror stories from my own start of this terrible disease. It worries me when I can't remember (chemo brain) and they really do tell you this will happen - and it does and it really sucks!! I worry when I get dizzy for no reason, but again, there is so much going on in my system, I'm sure its "normal". I worry when my chest hurts and I think its my heart, herceptin, the Maintenance drug, effects your heart and can cause congestive heart failure, so yes, I worry! I have seen the cardiologist and he tells me, its not my heart but I still worry - it hurts!! But, I exercise and have started to TRY to eat right, its not easy!! I also have some serious menopausal issues....yup - thanks chemo and 40...I'm in, have, whatever you call it, menopause...I'm soooo loving the hot flashes and the mood swings!! LOVE IT!!!!!
Um, yes, that was sarcasm!!!! And I thought when you went through menopause and didn't menstruate, you shouldn't be craving chocolate!!! Well, I can't get enough - and that stinks!!!!!!!
Whatever, I'm still learning!!! Anyways, I'm good, fell good, still smiling, and loving life!! Thanks for all the prayers that I know are still coming, keep it that way, I appreciate it!! I will check back soon!!